Feeling

Definition
a (1) : the one of the basic physical senses of which the skin contains the chief end organs and of which the sensations of touch and temperature are characteristic : touch (2) : a sensation experienced through this sense

Last night I stood outside with my shoes off, digging my feet into the grass, struggling to find myself here. To find myself in the world. To actually feel something.

The grass was wet, and it was cold outside. However I only really know these things because i could see the water on the ground and the thermometer on the wall. Sometimes I lose myself. I cant focus on the world around me. I cant feel the world around me, And i wonder if i am already dead. If everything I'm experiencing is just the last few flutters of brain activity before I am gone for good. I think of anything that i would change.

I would have told people how i was feeling, before it was too late
I would have been selfish, i would have said "Don't go, I love you"
I would have opened up to the world, Told someone everything.
I would have spent my life beside someone.

If i could redo everything. I wouldn't change anything, Because no one deserves to be stuck with me.
Or perhaps its because I don't know how my life could have turned out differently.

My secret : I wish i had a hand to hold. Someone to show me out of my darkness.

• Mood:Alone
• Music:It's Over - The Cure